Dear friends: I am very sorry that I can not be here in person. I have been unable to extricate myself from the responsibilities of my work.
I find it amazing in the world today that we have groups fighting wars, killing, condemning and hating each other over the proper pathway to a “loving” God. It’s a “not so divine” absurdity. I almost said comedy, but it’s not the least bit funny.
A very dear minister friend, we call “The Rev.” tells us that the Creator has given us a precious gift, a gift of unimaginable beauty and worth. That gift has become encrusted beyond recognition with the garbage and excrement of greed, hatred and material desires. It has been twisted and redefined to accommodate and justify personal prejudices, hatreds and ambitions. We’re at the point where this precious gift is difficult to find.
To rediscover that gift we have to look beyond the hatred and prejudices and into our hearts. For that is where this special gift resides. It is the bond that unites us. It is the ladder that lifts us up beyond ourselves. It is the instrument that creates the music of our souls.
That gift of unimaginable beauty and worth is the gift of love. It is the love we have in our hearts that takes us to and unites us with the Creator. It is the love that only has value when we give it away to others.
Hate tears us down and divides us. It is destroying the world. It is destroying us.
It is time that we unite in that love to celebrate, support, nurture and protect each individual’s right to their own faith. Freedom of Religion means the right of each individual to live by the dictates of their own conscience without interference and without retribution. It means the right to be who you are and to be respected for how you were created.
Freedom of Religion can never give anyone the right to use coercion, legal or illegal, to force their beliefs on anyone else. It is the role of government to make it possible for all beliefs to be treated equally. To accomplish that role, the government must remain neutral. It must accommodate all. Love enters in our hearts not on our lips.
There are thousands of GLBT young people who are in pain because of the attitudes of people like Phelps. It is our mission to reach out to these young people and to this community to stop the pain and to stop the hate. We must let these young people know that they are worthwhile and loved. And we must help them unite with us all as “One Human Family.” No more hate! No more abuse! No more victims!
Thank you for your support.
Michael M. Coats, Director, Black Hills Gay & Lesbian Youth Support & Resource Center
Friday, November 30, 2007
Forgive Us Our Vietnams
I find the current attacks on Senator Kerry’s Vietnam record highly disturbing. When will we stop letting the Vietnam War take more casualties? Every few years the national guilt runs over and someone else is sacrificed on the altar of self-righteousness. A lifetime of service and contribution is discredited and destroyed because of the dictates of conscience or a few moments in Hell while in service to country. When will the Vietnam era vets have paid enough? Why must we keep opening the old wounds and reawakening the nightmare? Let it end! Please!
No one was guilt free in that war. Not the country’s leaders. Not the Veterans who served. Not the protesters who didn’t. Not the cheerleaders who blindly supported it. Not anyone! The guilt will never subside until we all join together in one giant chorus of “I’m sorry! Forgive me!”
It’s past time to let the country heal and put it behind us. It’s past time to let the Veteran’s heal. Please let me heal! Forgive me. Please!
No one was guilt free in that war. Not the country’s leaders. Not the Veterans who served. Not the protesters who didn’t. Not the cheerleaders who blindly supported it. Not anyone! The guilt will never subside until we all join together in one giant chorus of “I’m sorry! Forgive me!”
It’s past time to let the country heal and put it behind us. It’s past time to let the Veteran’s heal. Please let me heal! Forgive me. Please!
Pornography and Politics
I’m not defending pornography. I’m writing because the Family Policy Council once again is attempting to exploit a very serious problem. Using simplistic solutions to a complicated problem, they only seek to advance their own social-political-religious agenda. (Election coming?) They offer nothing that furthers our understanding or resolution of the serious problem of sexual violence and rape.
The linkage between pornography and sexual violence is at best circumstantial. Millions view pornography and don’t commit rape. All rapists breathe air but that doesn’t mean breathing air causes rape. At worst, pornography is symptomatic of the much deeper problem of sexual objectification. That’s when others are seen as objects of pleasure not as unique human beings.
Sexual objectification combined with unequal gender status can confuse sex with power and domination. Throw in a negative view of sexuality and you’ve the ingredients for a rapist. Someone viewing sex as negative and dirty can easily imagine sex as a weapon for power and domination.
Interestingly, negative views of sexuality and unequal gender status can be traced to the views promoted by the Family Policy Council. People with healthy, positive attitudes toward sexuality don’t commit rape. Rape’s a crime of violence and domination not of sexual passion.
The linkage between pornography and sexual violence is at best circumstantial. Millions view pornography and don’t commit rape. All rapists breathe air but that doesn’t mean breathing air causes rape. At worst, pornography is symptomatic of the much deeper problem of sexual objectification. That’s when others are seen as objects of pleasure not as unique human beings.
Sexual objectification combined with unequal gender status can confuse sex with power and domination. Throw in a negative view of sexuality and you’ve the ingredients for a rapist. Someone viewing sex as negative and dirty can easily imagine sex as a weapon for power and domination.
Interestingly, negative views of sexuality and unequal gender status can be traced to the views promoted by the Family Policy Council. People with healthy, positive attitudes toward sexuality don’t commit rape. Rape’s a crime of violence and domination not of sexual passion.
Patriotism
Since Sept. 11 we’ve seen much flag waving, songs, speeches and good old American intestinal patriotic emotionalism. We’ve also heard calls for surrendering freedoms and restricting liberties for security.
Is this patriotic outburst simply superficial emotional chest pounding and sometimes commercial exploitation? Or, is it deeper with roots in commitment to institutions, freedoms and principles for which this nation stands?
If this patriotism is simply superficial emotionalism, then, those who would hijack our grief and anger to their own ends can easily lead us astray by exploiting insecurity.
If, however, patriotism arises from commitment, the thought of relinquishing freedoms and liberties, even if necessary, must create an heightened awareness and a demand for accountability, debate, dissent and criticism. While military power protects us from outside enemies, debate, accountability and dissent protect us from despots within. Now isn’t a time for true patriots to be silent! Open debate is vitally important because it makes and keeps us what and who we are. It’s the very freedom we defend! Terrorists threaten property and lives. The exploitation of superficial, fearful, emotional patriotism threatens freedom and liberty more than any terrorist! Terrorists can only win if we succumb to the fear they create!
Is this patriotic outburst simply superficial emotional chest pounding and sometimes commercial exploitation? Or, is it deeper with roots in commitment to institutions, freedoms and principles for which this nation stands?
If this patriotism is simply superficial emotionalism, then, those who would hijack our grief and anger to their own ends can easily lead us astray by exploiting insecurity.
If, however, patriotism arises from commitment, the thought of relinquishing freedoms and liberties, even if necessary, must create an heightened awareness and a demand for accountability, debate, dissent and criticism. While military power protects us from outside enemies, debate, accountability and dissent protect us from despots within. Now isn’t a time for true patriots to be silent! Open debate is vitally important because it makes and keeps us what and who we are. It’s the very freedom we defend! Terrorists threaten property and lives. The exploitation of superficial, fearful, emotional patriotism threatens freedom and liberty more than any terrorist! Terrorists can only win if we succumb to the fear they create!
Religion in Schools
The advocates of putting religion in public schools, be it the Commandments, prayer, etc. would have everyone believe the forces of evil are plotting to keep God and religious beliefs out of public schools. The truth is that the reaffirmation of separation of church and state of the past thirty years has been in response to the excesses and abuses of dominate religious groups. It has been to protect religious freedoms of the minority and to prevent establishment of state religion.
Growing up a member of a minority religion in a small eastern Dakota town during the fifties, I recall many instances of discrimination, coercion, insensitivity, and stigmatizing. I recall proselytizing prayers over the intercom every morning at school. Many of those prayers I found to be insulting and demeaning to my beliefs. I remember preachers and evangelists being brought into the schools with mandatory attendance. When I objected, I was told, “It won’t hurt you.” When our parents objected, we were forced to sit at our desks in study hall and given extra work to do to “keep us out of trouble.” While in the lower grades, I was devastated at being placed in a poor readers group despite the fact that I was an avid reader having read every book in the local Public Library that the librarian would let me check out. I later realized the teacher had separated by religion not by ability. Traveling later in life, I realized these were neither isolated nor unique, but were commonplace. In fact they were minor compared to other schools in other parts of the country.
Which religion isn’t the issue. It depends on which one is dominate in a community. Phrases like; “What can it hurt?” display insensitivity, narrow-mindedness, and all too often hostility and intolerance toward differing beliefs held by others. Believing they are doing it for everyone’s good in order to “save” everyone, religious denominations, especially those with messianic and proselytizing missions, by their nature must constantly push the limits as they attempt to impose their views on others until we either acquiesce or draw the line. Wherever that line is drawn they will continue to push it back claiming evil plots and violation of religious freedoms. The Founding Fathers were right in separating church and state. The Bill of Rights was inserted to protect the individual from the tyranny of the majority. It’s a necessity to protect religious freedom. The passion and fervor of their religious convictions too often blind people to the right of others to their own beliefs. They can’t understand why something they hold so deeply should be offensive to someone else. The irony is that many of these same religious denominations originally came to this country to escape the religious persecution, which they are now promoting and perpetuating.
Every religious denomination claims exclusive access to heaven and the truth. All others are seen as doomed heretics. It’s impossible for them all to be right. But, it’s possible for them all to be wrong. Given the repressive, hateful, evil, disastrous results throughout history whenever one religious denomination does gain political control, it’s probable that they all are wrong. The conflict between competing religions is itself a fertile seed bed for the creation and promotion of evil. Add to that mix the struggle for political dominance and the results will be exploitive, explosive, and disastrous.
If you remove the divisive, dogmatic, self-serving interpretations, the core values of love, compassion, forgiveness and tolerance are at the core of most religions. Maybe God in all his wisdom has shown us the Way. But, man in his earthly struggle for identity, power, dominance, and self-righteousness has become lost and blind to the message. Does not the Gospel tell us that “God is Love.” That Love is a verb not a noun.
If we could rally around those points we have in common instead of the divisive, dogmatic, sectarian approach now being perpetuated, we wouldn’t need to turn schools into religious battlegrounds. It’s a battle that helps no one but harms and diminishes everyone. Respect for others is the only lesson which, when learned, can hold a Democracy together. How can we expect the young to learn that lesson if our churches, religious leaders, and other adults appear incapable, unwilling or even openly hostile towards doing so.
Growing up a member of a minority religion in a small eastern Dakota town during the fifties, I recall many instances of discrimination, coercion, insensitivity, and stigmatizing. I recall proselytizing prayers over the intercom every morning at school. Many of those prayers I found to be insulting and demeaning to my beliefs. I remember preachers and evangelists being brought into the schools with mandatory attendance. When I objected, I was told, “It won’t hurt you.” When our parents objected, we were forced to sit at our desks in study hall and given extra work to do to “keep us out of trouble.” While in the lower grades, I was devastated at being placed in a poor readers group despite the fact that I was an avid reader having read every book in the local Public Library that the librarian would let me check out. I later realized the teacher had separated by religion not by ability. Traveling later in life, I realized these were neither isolated nor unique, but were commonplace. In fact they were minor compared to other schools in other parts of the country.
Which religion isn’t the issue. It depends on which one is dominate in a community. Phrases like; “What can it hurt?” display insensitivity, narrow-mindedness, and all too often hostility and intolerance toward differing beliefs held by others. Believing they are doing it for everyone’s good in order to “save” everyone, religious denominations, especially those with messianic and proselytizing missions, by their nature must constantly push the limits as they attempt to impose their views on others until we either acquiesce or draw the line. Wherever that line is drawn they will continue to push it back claiming evil plots and violation of religious freedoms. The Founding Fathers were right in separating church and state. The Bill of Rights was inserted to protect the individual from the tyranny of the majority. It’s a necessity to protect religious freedom. The passion and fervor of their religious convictions too often blind people to the right of others to their own beliefs. They can’t understand why something they hold so deeply should be offensive to someone else. The irony is that many of these same religious denominations originally came to this country to escape the religious persecution, which they are now promoting and perpetuating.
Every religious denomination claims exclusive access to heaven and the truth. All others are seen as doomed heretics. It’s impossible for them all to be right. But, it’s possible for them all to be wrong. Given the repressive, hateful, evil, disastrous results throughout history whenever one religious denomination does gain political control, it’s probable that they all are wrong. The conflict between competing religions is itself a fertile seed bed for the creation and promotion of evil. Add to that mix the struggle for political dominance and the results will be exploitive, explosive, and disastrous.
If you remove the divisive, dogmatic, self-serving interpretations, the core values of love, compassion, forgiveness and tolerance are at the core of most religions. Maybe God in all his wisdom has shown us the Way. But, man in his earthly struggle for identity, power, dominance, and self-righteousness has become lost and blind to the message. Does not the Gospel tell us that “God is Love.” That Love is a verb not a noun.
If we could rally around those points we have in common instead of the divisive, dogmatic, sectarian approach now being perpetuated, we wouldn’t need to turn schools into religious battlegrounds. It’s a battle that helps no one but harms and diminishes everyone. Respect for others is the only lesson which, when learned, can hold a Democracy together. How can we expect the young to learn that lesson if our churches, religious leaders, and other adults appear incapable, unwilling or even openly hostile towards doing so.
Letter After 9/11
Dear Editor:
As Americans from all walks of life set differences aside and unite behind the President, there are some who chastise, denigrate and somehow blame those who believe, live, or see the world differently.
My father, who passed away last year, served and was wounded in WWII so his family could live free. My brother and I both served during Vietnam for those same principles. We didn’t serve so a small group of fanatics could wrap themselves in flag and Bible and demand everyone agree with them in order to qualify to wear the mantle of being an American. That’s what we were fighting against!
As the nation unites and stands shoulder to shoulder for liberty and freedom, how dare they tell me that if I’m gay, love God differently, or disagree with their views, I’m not welcome to or worthy of a place in that line? I’m an American and love this country. If I thought for an instant my presence on this earth contributed to this disaster, I’d no longer be here! My God is not that cruel!
Those who’re different don’t threaten liberty and freedom. They’re its champions! How do these fanatics define liberty and freedom?
As Americans from all walks of life set differences aside and unite behind the President, there are some who chastise, denigrate and somehow blame those who believe, live, or see the world differently.
My father, who passed away last year, served and was wounded in WWII so his family could live free. My brother and I both served during Vietnam for those same principles. We didn’t serve so a small group of fanatics could wrap themselves in flag and Bible and demand everyone agree with them in order to qualify to wear the mantle of being an American. That’s what we were fighting against!
As the nation unites and stands shoulder to shoulder for liberty and freedom, how dare they tell me that if I’m gay, love God differently, or disagree with their views, I’m not welcome to or worthy of a place in that line? I’m an American and love this country. If I thought for an instant my presence on this earth contributed to this disaster, I’d no longer be here! My God is not that cruel!
Those who’re different don’t threaten liberty and freedom. They’re its champions! How do these fanatics define liberty and freedom?
A Place in the Light
When you deny people a place in the light, you have no right to criticize their struggle to survive in the shadows, or justification for outrage when they fight for their rightful place in the sun.
Delivered to the South Dakota State Legislature 2004
I’m before you today not as some militant radical from some far away hedonistic place, but as one of you. I’m a native South Dakotan. South Dakota runs in my veins and my roots here run deep. I remember as a teenager visiting my Great Grandmother, listening to her stories of coming to South Dakota at the age of ten with her family. They came by covered wagon from Illinois. They settled in the area around Turton. The wife of one of her other descendants is a legislator here at the capitol.
I also remember going on scouting expeditions with my grandfather to rediscover the old fishing holes from his childhood and learning about the area of my birth and my heritage.
My Grandfather was a simple man of the earth, a farmer with a great and compassionate heart. He was also a man of deep love and faith.
I grew up on a farm and graduated from High School in Doland. I used to work for our neighbor on the next farm. My sister used to baby sit for them. One of those kids is now Mrs. John Thune.
My father and an uncle graduated with Hubert Humphry. An Aunt & Uncle were at Dakota Wesleyan with George & Eleanor McGovern and remained life long friends.
I am everyone and I am no one. I’m the kid from next door that you thought you knew but didn’t because you were bullied into blindness. I’m the guy you played football with and suffered when you made snide remarks about my sexuality. You thought you knew me. But you didn’t. You didn’t know how deeply you hurt me. Did you care? Do you now?
I’m your buddy you thought you knew. The co-worker you enjoyed. The person you saw going home. I’m everyone & no one.
I am but one of thousands of South Dakotans who for too many years have been bullied into suffering in silence. I know of many, many others who wanted to be here today but couldn’t out of fear. Fear that they would loose their livelihood. Fear that they would be targeted. Fear that they would loose family. And fear for their safety.
Working with gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender teenagers and young adults, I know first hand of the harassment and bullying that goes on. I know also of the damage it can do. How many kids have given up and ended their lives because of it is any body’s guess. I know first hand that it is more than a few.
What is going on here today is simply more bullying! This bill does not protect marriage. My relationship with a partner of the same sex can in no way diminish your love for your wife or husband. It’s about one religious group trying to bully you into giving them their way. “Vote for this bill or else you get targeted.” So much for courage.
Being bullied into silence is no longer acceptable. It is causing too much pain, too much suffering, and our society is the lesser for it.
My brother & I both got drafted and served during Vietnam. I could have taken the easy way out, but I love my country and despite having reservations about the war, I elected to join the Navy and served for four years.
My father served in the Pacific and was wounded during WWII. Our family has a History of military service and love of country. I love this country. Does this country love me?
I have just one question for you before you vote on this bill.
“Do I as a gay man have the right to exist?’
If the answer is “yes” then I expect the same rights and privileges as everyone else. I should be able to have legal protections for a committed, loving relationship. I have yet to hear a valid reason why I shouldn’t.
Earlier I heard someone remark that this could lead to someone wanting to marry their horse, their dog, or their chair. What about polygamy? First of all your relationship to your horse, dog or chair is already defined and protected by law. It’s called property rights. The only thing that doesn’t have protections is my relationship to the person I love.
As for polygamy, that is another issue all together to be weighed by its own merits or lack there of. Try literal interpretation of the Bible on that one.
If your answer is that I don’t have a right to exist, then you do need to amend the Constitution. You need to remove the words: Freedom, Liberty, Justice, & Equality. They no longer have meaning. It has to mean more than just the right to agree with you.
Every credible scientific organization supports me. So what is the problem?
The bottom line is that no matter what you decide here today, we will go on. We will still be here. We will still fall in love and enter into relationships.
We will continue to build community and help each other. We will come together in God’s Love. You may deny us legal protections, but, we will protect each other.
We will only become victims if we allow the negative attitudes of others to affect how we feel about ourselves.
I am here to tell you that as I look out at my Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, &Trans-gendered brothers and sisters, our families and our friends, I feel good!!!
WE WILL BE BACK!!!!!
Thank you for your time.
I also remember going on scouting expeditions with my grandfather to rediscover the old fishing holes from his childhood and learning about the area of my birth and my heritage.
My Grandfather was a simple man of the earth, a farmer with a great and compassionate heart. He was also a man of deep love and faith.
I grew up on a farm and graduated from High School in Doland. I used to work for our neighbor on the next farm. My sister used to baby sit for them. One of those kids is now Mrs. John Thune.
My father and an uncle graduated with Hubert Humphry. An Aunt & Uncle were at Dakota Wesleyan with George & Eleanor McGovern and remained life long friends.
I am everyone and I am no one. I’m the kid from next door that you thought you knew but didn’t because you were bullied into blindness. I’m the guy you played football with and suffered when you made snide remarks about my sexuality. You thought you knew me. But you didn’t. You didn’t know how deeply you hurt me. Did you care? Do you now?
I’m your buddy you thought you knew. The co-worker you enjoyed. The person you saw going home. I’m everyone & no one.
I am but one of thousands of South Dakotans who for too many years have been bullied into suffering in silence. I know of many, many others who wanted to be here today but couldn’t out of fear. Fear that they would loose their livelihood. Fear that they would be targeted. Fear that they would loose family. And fear for their safety.
Working with gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender teenagers and young adults, I know first hand of the harassment and bullying that goes on. I know also of the damage it can do. How many kids have given up and ended their lives because of it is any body’s guess. I know first hand that it is more than a few.
What is going on here today is simply more bullying! This bill does not protect marriage. My relationship with a partner of the same sex can in no way diminish your love for your wife or husband. It’s about one religious group trying to bully you into giving them their way. “Vote for this bill or else you get targeted.” So much for courage.
Being bullied into silence is no longer acceptable. It is causing too much pain, too much suffering, and our society is the lesser for it.
My brother & I both got drafted and served during Vietnam. I could have taken the easy way out, but I love my country and despite having reservations about the war, I elected to join the Navy and served for four years.
My father served in the Pacific and was wounded during WWII. Our family has a History of military service and love of country. I love this country. Does this country love me?
I have just one question for you before you vote on this bill.
“Do I as a gay man have the right to exist?’
If the answer is “yes” then I expect the same rights and privileges as everyone else. I should be able to have legal protections for a committed, loving relationship. I have yet to hear a valid reason why I shouldn’t.
Earlier I heard someone remark that this could lead to someone wanting to marry their horse, their dog, or their chair. What about polygamy? First of all your relationship to your horse, dog or chair is already defined and protected by law. It’s called property rights. The only thing that doesn’t have protections is my relationship to the person I love.
As for polygamy, that is another issue all together to be weighed by its own merits or lack there of. Try literal interpretation of the Bible on that one.
If your answer is that I don’t have a right to exist, then you do need to amend the Constitution. You need to remove the words: Freedom, Liberty, Justice, & Equality. They no longer have meaning. It has to mean more than just the right to agree with you.
Every credible scientific organization supports me. So what is the problem?
The bottom line is that no matter what you decide here today, we will go on. We will still be here. We will still fall in love and enter into relationships.
We will continue to build community and help each other. We will come together in God’s Love. You may deny us legal protections, but, we will protect each other.
We will only become victims if we allow the negative attitudes of others to affect how we feel about ourselves.
I am here to tell you that as I look out at my Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, &Trans-gendered brothers and sisters, our families and our friends, I feel good!!!
WE WILL BE BACK!!!!!
Thank you for your time.
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