My First Cigar (written in High School; 1963)

Have you ever heard the old saying "curiosity killed a cat?" Well, some people say that satisfaction brought it back to life again. Speaking as a real cool cat, that wasn't so very cool for awhile, the later saying is positively not true. Here is the story behind this unforgettable experience.

It happened about two years ago when I was visiting with some of my cousins out in the Black Hills. Out there, you are no one until you smoke. I decided to stay away from those charcoal burners. But, just the same, there was that inward desire to find out just what it would be like to light-up, sit-back and inhale. Also, all around me, my cousins were smoking and kept saying, "Ah, come on. Why don't you try one?" However, I managed to stay away from those instant fog machines for a few more days. But, still, there was that inner desire and my cousins.


Finally, I gave in to my curiosity and decided to show those girls that I could do anything they could do and do it better. So I went out and bought the biggest cigar you have ever seen. On the way home one of the girls pulled out a pack of Winston's and said, "Anyone want a smoke?"

I puffed out my chest with pride and said, "No, thank you. I'll smoke my own." And you should have seen the expression that came across those girls' faces when I pulled out my extra long White Owl. That expression was to be equalled only by the expression on my face after I took my first puff of that much too long cigar.

I don't know if it was stupidity or foolish pride. But, I was determined to finish that cigar. Well, I kept on smoking that cigar and you've heard of being on cloud nine? Man, like, where I was there were no clouds, because I was way out and the only cloud that was with me was a strange type of fog that had settled around me.

About that time, my mind went into a tailspin. I put my ailerons down and I went into orbit. At least, that's where I figured I was, because all around me were planets, stars and then, once in awhile, there were red and green lights. Later they told me that the green was my complexion and the red must have been when I started the seat covers on fire.